In this post, I highlight the changes I made in my script for my project four personal reflection video essay in the opening section.
Hey everyone, it’s Avalon and I'm here to talk about my experiences this semester as a student in English 109H at the University of Arizona. Throughout this course and the entirety of my first year of college, I have been presented with new, sometimes uncomfortable or unfamiliar opportunities and situations. These situations presented themselves in a myriad of ways, but the most prevalent changes I noticed were in response to being forced to adapt to new situations. These responses can be seen most noticeably in my research skills and my time management.
Re-edited Selection
Hey everyone, it’s Avalon and I’m going to talk about my experiences this semester as a student in Honors English 109H at the University of Arizona. Throughout this course and the entirety of my first year of college, I have been presented with new, sometimes uncomfortable or unfamiliar opportunities and situations. These situations presented themselves in a myriad of ways, but the most prevalent changes I noticed were in response to being forced to adapt to new situations. These responses can be seen most noticeably in my research skills and my time management.
Audience Questions
Content changed in this selection when I changed the voice of the introductory sentence and when I decided to include the descriptor "Honors" before the course title. The alteration of voice made my introduction seem more certain and more like a personal reflection. With the addition of the word Honors before the course title I think I provide a necessary detail that distinguishes the work in this course as more challenging and ultimately more rewarding.
The form of the opening section changed also with the change of formality in the first sentence. The audiences' first impression now is slightly more formal than before, and asserts credibility for myself as an author.
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