Friday, May 6, 2016

Editorial Report 15b

This post highlights the changes I made in my closing section of my project four video essay script from my rough cut to my final.

Rough Selection


Overall, I enjoyed the course for a select few reasons. It forced me out of my comfort zone nearly every week and threw new things at me that I was required to handle. While the situations might’ve been shitty in the moment, they definitely taught me valuable lessons in the end and shaped me into a more well-rounded person. If I wasn’t aware before, now I know for sure that doing things that I’m not comfortable with can be extremely beneficial and can make me feel accomplished. Ultimately I can see how what I’ve learned in this course applies to my life as a whole, and I can’t wait to continue to further my college career with adapting to new situations and taking on challenges that I would otherwise try to avoid in order to further my personal development and continue my growth.

Re-edited Selection


Overall, I enjoyed the course for a few main reasons. First, it forced me out of my comfort zone nearly every week and threw new things at me that I was required to handle. While the situations might’ve sucked in the moment, they definitely taught me valuable lessons in the end and shaped me into a more well-rounded person. If I wasn’t aware before, now I know for sure that doing things that I’m not comfortable with can be extremely beneficial and can make me feel accomplished. Ultimately I can see how what I’ve learned in this course applies to my life as a whole, and I can’t wait to continue to further my college career with adapting to new situations and taking on challenges that I would otherwise try to avoid in order to further my personal development and continue my growth.

Audience Questions

The content of the closing section changed when I elected to change the negatively connottatded phrase "a select few" to "a few main reasons". Also when I chose a more family-friendly word choice in the third sentence. From "shitty" to "they sucked", I think this makes my video essay more tasteful by refraining from exaggerating the severity of the issue.

The form of this selection changed when I added the transition phrase "first," before the second sentence. This follows the form of typically structured paragraphs in which the opening sentence precedes a number of examples each with their own subsequent explanation.

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