Peer Review for Evan Rosser

This post highlights the peer review I conducted on Evan Rosser's standard college essay. His open post to peer reviewers can be found here. 

Helpfulness

I chose to review Evan's re-design of his essay and to make suggestions about conventions. I hope my suggestion to add page numbers helped him to follow all of the conventions of a standard college essay. 

Course Incorporation

Our main focus in the beginning of the semester was conventions of each of the major project forms. By enforcing a recollection of the page numbers in a standard college essay, I incorporated a large part of our class discussions.

Admiration

I admire that Evan chose a very controversial topic and covered the rebuttal for the topic so thoroughly. His argument is so strong because of his incorporation of a thorough rebuttal. Also, his use of anecdotes to convey his points makes the essay more interesting, and I think that is a brilliant way to maintain readers' interest.

Peer Review for Ben Barnett

This post outlines my review of Ben Barnett's standard college essay for project three. His open post to peer reviewers can be accessed here. His fine cut of project three can be found here. I chose to review Ben's conventions and mechanics.

Helpfulness

I hope I helped Ben in the conventions department by pointing out a parenthetical citation error. I also hope that my suggestion to incorporate more commas helped him in editing for punctuation like he asked in his open post to peer reviewers.

Course Incorporation

Since I am constantly learning new things it seems about citing, you could say that I incorporated information that I learned from this course as well as a couple of others this semester in my peer review.

Admirations

I admire that Ben took a complicated topic that the majority of people do not know about and explained it in a manner that was not "dumbed down", necessarily, but that was easily understandable without prior knowledge.

Reflection on Project 3 Release Week

This post outlines my thoughts overall on project three.

Successes

I really set myself up for success for this project since I not only stayed on top of the work, but I put in extra effort at every step which is not something I normally do. This helped my immensely in the later weeks of the project since there was virtually nothing to do but revisit the essay and edit.

Challenges

Thankfully, there were no challenges in this week's process. I was able to finish the essay relatively painlessly and the blog posts have been smooth sailing so far.

Predictions

I have no idea how next week will go since we are starting a new project. Hopefully things will not be too overwhelming with finals, but I am not too nervous.

Overall

I feel pretty confident overall about project three. Hopefully the past two projects have prepared me to satisfy the content requirements for project three. I am pretty confident that I have had sufficient practice with standard college essays in order to satisfy form conventions and requirements.

Editorial Report 13b

This post highlights some very minor changes I made from the fine cut to the final version of my essay.

Rough Selection

As with any controversial political topic, there is a prevalent opposing side to the idea of decriminalization. These oppositions tend to come from those who do not recognize common myths about drugs to be false.

Re-edited Selection

As with any controversial political topic, there is a prevalent opposing side to the idea of decriminalization. These oppositions tend to come from those who do not recognize the common myths about drugs to be false.

Audience Questions

The content of this selection changed (barely) when I added the word "the" before the subject of the sentence, "common myths". This better presents the content of the essay by specifying that the myths in question are important and relevant.

The form of this selection changed minimally by increasing the length of the sentence and ultimately of the paragraph.

Editorial Report 13a

This post highlights some very minor changes I made from my fine cut to my final essay.

Rough Selection

From a decriminalization standpoint, the discovery of drug possession or other related crimes by law enforcement officials would instead result in the rehab and psychiatric help that is actually needed.  As a result of this, and in addition to the fiscal benefits, second chances would be given to people who have made mistakes regarding drugs, which encourage future societal and political involvement.

Re-edited Selection

From a decriminalization standpoint, the discovery of drug possession or other related crimes by law enforcement officials would instead result in the rehab and psychiatric help that is actually needed.  As a result of this, second chances would be given to people who have made mistakes regarding drugs, which encourage future societal and political involvement.

Audience Questions

The content of my selection changed when I omitted the phrase "and in addition to the fiscal benefits". Upon rereading my essay, I realized that the phrase was completely irrelevant to the rest of the sentence. This hopefully improved the content by keeping the flow on track with the topic at hand.

The form of my selection changed by altering the type of sentence I used. This also changed the overall syntax of the selection, as well as the sentence variation used throughout the essay.

Revised Post to Peer Reviewers

The fine cut of my draft can be accessed here. 

Key Information

I would like my peer reviewers to know that I am curious if they are initially for or against the decriminalization of drugs. My prediction from last week's blog posts was that my peers would likely be in favor of the solution, and I would like to see how accurate that assumption is.

Weaknesses

I hope that I have addressed my weaknesses in my most recent edit of my paper. The only questionable thing I can think of is there is no specific conclusion sentence in my last body paragraph.

Strengths

I think the essay addresses valid points in the body paragraphs. Additionally, I think that my rebuttal covers most of the main oppositions to the idea of drug decriminalization. 

Peer Review for Veronica Funess

This post outlines the peer review that I conducted on Veronica Funess' rough cut. For this review, I chose to focus on both content and form. Her rough cut can be accessed here.

Helpful Inputs

I hope that Veronica finds my suggestions about the incorporation of sexual education curriculum statistics helpful. I made the recommendation because, as a reader, I feel like I would care more about the issue if I knew how large of a problem this is. If she can prove that the problem is happening all across the United States, then it is definitely believable that something needs to be done.

Course Incorporations

In terms of form, I suggested that she follow her own advice and stick to her plans. In doing this, she would be inserting paragraphs with additional explanations and evidence and including her references in her essay. These alterations to her rough cut would ensure that she is following all of the discussed conventions of a standard college essay.

Admirations

I admire Veronica's choice in topics, because she chose something that is extremely prevalent and important as well as interesting and serious. Additionally, it is evident that she has done some extreme planning and thinking about this project so far, so I admire her dedication and commitment as well.

Peer Review for Missy Webb

This post outlines the review I conducted of Missy's project 3 rough cut. The presently untitled work can be accessed here. I chose to look at the form of her essay.

Helpful Inputs

I advised Missy to incorporate more breaks in her paragraphs to make reading easier on the eyes and to create room for explanations. I hope this helps her with going more in depth into her reasonings, though they are already extremely informative and thorough. 

Incorporations

I incorporated the conventions of a blog post and of a QRG in my comment on Missy's rough cut. In allowing more white space on the page, readers have an easier time getting through long written works. This incorporation comes from class discussion in which we pondered the conventions of the main course genres.

Admirations

I admired Missy's incorporation of rhetorical questions, as well as her utilization of personal experience to convey her argument. Both incorporations are used to further engage the audience and invoke a sense of importance and relevance to the topic. 

Reflection on Global Revision

This post outlines the ups and downs of this post-production week. 

Successes

This week was filled with successes, as I completed a nearly full draft last week. Because of that, I was able to focus all of my attention on revisiting and revising my essay, which proved to be beneficial. 

Challenges

I was hoping to come up with at least a rough title for my draft this week, but nothing came to me. Fortunately, this isn't the biggest deal and can easily be handled in next weeks revisions. 

Predictions

I think that next week will be relatively painless, as it is looking as though it will be pretty similar to this week. Lucky for me, I will be able to step back from the essay for another week so I can revisit it with a new mentality during next week's progress. 

Overall

Overall I am feeling pretty good about this project. I am hoping to get a peer review or two so I can make some focused edits and changes to my form/content, but other than that I am content with my progress so far. 

Editorial Report 12b

This post highlights the changes I made in my rebuttal paragraph in my rough cut.

Selection From Rough Cut

As with any controversial political topic, there is a prevalent opposing side to the idea of decriminalization. A common example of stigmas about drugs is that drug crimes always result in violence, and that those who deal with the production and distribution of drugs are dangerous people with malicious intentions.

Re-edited Selection 

As with any controversial political topic, there is a prevalent opposing side to the idea of decriminalization. These oppositions tend to come from those who do not recognize the common myths about drugs to be false. An example of an incorrect assumption about drugs is that drug crimes always result in violence, and that those who deal with the production and distribution of drugs are dangerous people with malicious intentions. 

Audience Questions

Content was changed when I added the middle sentence to the selection. The sentence informs readers that the following items are myths about drugs, and thus that they are false. This more accurately presents the content by classifying the list of items as a specific category. The form of this section also changed with the addition of the middle sentence. The sentence acts as a bridge between the topic sentence and the first major point of the paragraph. This more clearly presents the content, as it provides the paragraph with more flow and better transitions. 

Editorial Report 12a

This post highlights the changes I made in the end of the second body section of my essay.

Selection From Rough Cut

This would result in improved civilian-cop relations, which would release overall tensions, as well as release tensions between the people and their government. Furthermore, improved relations have the potential to decrease police violence and could also serve as a starting point for reemploying the police department as a protective force rather than an unwanted opposition to citizens.

Re-edited Selection

This would result in improved civilian-cop relations, which would release tensions between the people and their government. Furthermore, improved relations have the potential to decrease police violence and could also serve as a starting point for reemploying the police department as a protective force rather than the unwanted opposition to citizens it is viewed as contemporarily.

Audience Questions

Content changed in this selection when I specified that the tensions released were between the people and their government, and were not overall tensions. Additionally, by changing the wording in the last sentence I clarified that the implications that the police force is an unwanted opposition to citizens are current. Form changed in this selection by incorporating more elaborate explanations to each piece of evidence that I provide. In these ways, content is being presented in a more precise and specific manner, which is more efficient in explaining my topic. 

Open Post to Peer Reviewers

My rough cut of project 3 can be accessed herehttps://drive.google.com/file/d/0BwUxe4UixUmubmFuVlJzc1BmVkE/view?usp=sharing.

Audience Question

I anticipate that, because I completed an almost entirely complete draft in production, I will not have a ton of work to do this week. Aside from the blog posts, I will make sure that my content is on point and that about sums up my week.

Key Information

I would like my peer reviewers to know that I am curious if they are initially for or against the decriminalization of drugs. My prediction from last week's blog posts was that my peers would likely be in favor of the solution, and I would like to see how accurate that assumption is.

Weaknesses

I think the biggest weakness my current draft has is that it does not have a title. If anyone has any ideas, feel free to let me know. However, I usually manage to pull together a decent title so I'm not stressing too much about it.

Strengths

I think my essay has solid main points to discuss. Though I may not always develop the points fully, I think the rebuttal and the arguments that I used are strong, valid points.